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An Honest Account

wow! seems like it's really been A WHILE since i've last blogged. in any case, this might be my last entry. MIGHT BE. the blog's existence actually dates back to the times when we're still known as TB11. to be more exact, my 1st birthday celebration with "the bunch of cool teenagers". would it end on my 3rd birthday celebration? well, who knows.

recently, i've been very much thinking about the past, thinking of the "whos" that i shared my laughters with, the " whats" we've done, the " wheres" we left our memories at, the "whens" that marks certain chapters of our lives, the "whys" to how things turn out to be. life was great, at least intially. life is still great for me now, but "friendship" is about the go into extinction throughout my realms. perhaps these are my last true friends.

correction: perhaps these were my last true friends.

just want to thank everyone for their appearance yesterday, reminding me what a class meant physically. i've decided not to address the class individually as there are varying degrees of sentiment attached to each person. i was conned into this whole celebration which i really treasure. i was made to believe that more than half of "us" had to leave singapore in two days' time only to return after another full semester. thanks to wei xia and shu xian who finally revealed the truth before things get any more serious.

the 1st half an hour was an emotional roller-coaster and for a moment, it felt like i'm back to the past. however, i was brought back to earth soon after. i began to realize that everything'd changed. the vast differences made it hard to indulge in any conversation and i chose to instead focus my energy on finishing the meal. it wasn't just me that has fallen off the ship, in fact, everyone was just clinging on. why was there a sense of politeness in everyone's tone? why does it seem that an extra effort has to be made to make those conversations work?

for a moment, i dread the path that i chose by going into business. it would have been better off if i'm born simple-minded and not realize these flaws.

for the last part of this entry. i want to dedicate it to a special friend that i once had. (if you feel like you want to stop reading at this point, it's ok.) seems like he's being detested and rejected nowadays. the times i spend with him and a couple other friends were some of the best moments in my poly life. things changed. there are stuff that i hear from other friends of him being hostile and unfriendly. i'm just glad that he still acknowledges my existence with a smile on his face and a couple of verbal exchanges in school. dear friend, perhaps in the end i'm the one who best understands how you feel all this while. even if you seek to deny it, there's no denying that we are actually quite similar. it's hard to be happy, isn't it?

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